To the artist who wants to go full time.

I also want you to go full time ...

I’ve always wanted to go full time with writing. I wanted words to take up space in every corner of my life. I hated balancing my writing practice with waitressing, or a 9-5. I despised having to muster the tiny amount of energy I had after my child care job to write, I hated giving the scraps of myself to my books. I just really struggled to do work that wasn’t the creative act, full stop. I wanted to wake up and write, and then write some more.

I wanted to go full time.

This essay is for those who want to go full time, or who are interested in going full time with creating. That might not be you, and that’s very okay. I want to remind you that there is NO right way to go on this creative journey. Many artists THRIVE having more traditional work that supports the creative work. I want to acknowledge that as a culture, we can be very snobby about how one must be “full time” in order to be “a legitimate artist”. That is not true. I repeat, it’s fucking bullshit. Artists with other jobs are SERIOUS ARTISTS. We all need different ways to support our creativity. Do it how it works for you, and be proud it.

But today - I want to talk from my own experience, which is that I had an intolerance for a life without full time creation. I wanted it all. And I was told, repeatedly, that I wanted too much.

Why do you need it to be full time? Why can’t it just be something on the side?

I was asked this a lot.

I was speaking to a creative idol, (I cannot over emphasise this term, it was a wild thirty minutes). I was discussing a client who wanted to go full time in their artistry but who had a job as a scientist in the climate change sector. My client did not enjoy this job but they felt guilty for giving up their important, world changing job to do something as “frivolous” as art. My idol suggested they should keep working at that job and write on the side.

“Write on the side.”

On the side

On the side

On the side.

I am not an On The Side Girly.

At the end of the day, it was a simple suggestion. He was essentially asking “why not both?” Which is an important and valid question. We don’t always need to go all in. But there’s something about the suggestion that just sets me off. He’d triggered me. We weren’t even talking about me! But I have this ferocious response to the idea that artists need to suck it up and do work they don’t really like, and just create on the side. So here I am, on a zoom call with THE creative mentor and I’m ready to argue with him. Unfortunately, I’m so overwhelmed, that essentially I just go around in circles, articulate myself VERY poorly and waste the precious thirty minute phone call I had with him.

Eugh…

Why not art on the side? Amie’s answers.

Because I hated every single “real” job I’ve ever had. :)

Because I want to write so many books.

Because I want to give everything to my art.

Because I want to dictate the pace of my day

Because I want a life that I design.

Because I want a life that I love.

Because I don’t want to work for someone else, doing labour that doesn’t mean anything to me.

Because I want it. Do we need to justify our wants all the time? Most people don’t justify why they want kids? They just long for them. I long for a life of full time writing.

And a little bit because it really did feel like most people didn’t want me to / couldn’t believe I could do it …

“Virtually nobody does that”

I just dug up a message I got from a writer in 2018 that broke me. I can hardly read it, even now. She was doing it from the greatest intentions, she loved me and worried for me, but her words snapped me in two. They stitched themselves into my internal monologue and became a voice that I fought daily. She doesn’t know that she impacted me like this, and I worry about sharing her well intentioned words, but it speaks so well to the narratives we as artists face. The letter was sent as a warning, she had been watching me document my creative journey on IG, as I tried to make it as a full time writer.

Here is a small extract.

I think you have a mistaken idea that a creative life involves just following your passion. It doesn’t. Virtually no one does that. A tiny handful of novelists can now afford to do that. The VAST majority do other work on the side.

She speaks to some truth. It is hard to do this. But just because something is hard, doesn’t mean that one shouldn’t pursue it. I felt so embarrassed receiving this message, like I was so foolish to envision a life filled with writing. I cried for hours. Shame cascading around me.

Let me just spoil it for you. I followed my passion. I relentlessly pursued the life I wanted. I am now full time writing.

But this voice, her voice, the voice of our culture, it haunted me as I chased it.

This is how we should be talking to creators who want to go full time:

Fuck yes. Let’s go. This is hard. But let me share with you what I’ve learnt about the journey. Let me hold you and support you as you navigate the hard moments. Let me celebrate the tiny wins you will accumulate over time. Let me strategise with you about how to make this happen. I am taking you seriously. How can I help?

Full time creating has never been more possible.

This is true. I know so many joyful full time creators. I know a fair few miserable ones too. But that’s for another substack.

Because of the internet, because of our connection economy, artists are able to make this their full time life more easily that they have in the past. We are able to do it without permission from gatekeepers too. So you want to be a full time creative? Fucking perfect timing! It’s never been easier. It is not easy- but it’s never been easier. Easy is boring anyway.

Am I just being a romantic?

We have grown up in a culture that says that if you want to do meaningful work with your life - you are asking for way way way too much. You’re being unrealistic, a dreamer, a romanticist. I wrote about this at length in my essay, “I don’t want a job”. It’s rebellious, anti-capitlist and anti-industrialist to demand a life filled with meaningful purposeful work - but that’s a rebellion I want to be apart of.

Here’s a little more of that 2018 message:

“I think you’re amazing but I think you have a romantic idea about us working writers that just isn’t real. Very very few of us write full time.”

I’ve always been called a romantic. I personally called myself foolish, delusional, child like for wanting this life. But really, I just wanted my life to be filled with meaning and art. I also want your life to be filled with meaning and art, if this makes me a romantic then fine - but I will fucking fight for it.

I never, ever want to ignore the very real systemic, structural issues that get in our way as we fight for a life of art. Shits fucked out there. But let’s fight the fucked shit together. Let’s find ways around it, and then help others to navigate it too.

You are allowed to want this:

I am so fucking glad you are asking for what you want. I love that you want a life that you love. I love that you want to create full time. I am backing you. There’s never been a better time to go after this.

I want to lift the shame off of your shoulders. I want to give you a little bit of the red hot flame that flickers within me, that fuck you energy, I want you to use that flame to realise that asking for a life that you love, a full time life of art - it’s fucking powerful, anti-establishment, very cool thing to do.

My book We Need Your Art is a compendium of all the lessons I learnt (and am still learning) on my journey with full time artistry. She is out in three weeks. I consider Pre-orders a personal favour - they are the biggest blessing to me.

You can pre-order here.