yeeessss that part about people in our lives side-stepping and being less-than-enthusiastic about our creative endeavors hits home. Friends, family, and people on the internet have done it to me. I know I’ve been guilty of that myself in the past. When we don’t dress our creative wounds, bitterness bleeds all over and infects EVERYTHING.
so many thoughts on the systems we have in place socially and culturally that really strip our agency in creating a personal sense of identity and worth, and how academia in particular turns subjective experiences and art into an object to scrutinize, criticize, grade and hierarchize - and, unfortunately, so many people with good intentions go into teaching and educational leadership after being beaten down by these systems and end up perpetuating those cycles (whether intentionally or not). I don’t know if this comment even makes sense or if I’m rambling at this point, but I was a teacher for almost a decade after getting my masters and so I speak from my own experience and pain and the cycles I’ve seen play out in my own life and in those around me.
Shiiiittttt. You’ve explained something I could not put my finger on around friends and family - my creativity is a trigger🔥
Some are triggered at my bravery, some at my vulnerability, some at my audacity, and some at the very fact I’m even creating at all, which exposes the unfulfilled part of them.
I JUST signed on to Substack and chose my three topics and “BOOM!” There you are in the list so I read this first thing. I identify as an artist. It took me a long time to be comfortable with that and proud of claiming that title. Literally, NO ONE asks about my art. No one. That makes it even harder to feel proud of what I do or, sometimes, confident in what I create. It is incredibly sad. But you’ve hit the nail right on the head here. Thank you.
I have made so many people uncomfortable with not just what I write & create but my decisions, like leaving my marriage of 20 years, moving from Australia to Finland, leaving my children with their dad, starting a business at 49 with no business experience. I’ve lost friends over all these things, in a way where they disappear rather than have it out with you. I have friends and family who read my writing and others who’ve never read a thing. Most have never bought an anthology I’ve been published in. I’ve accepted that I just make some people hugely uncomfortable because I do things they might think about doing but aren’t brave enough to so they shrink away. If people unfollow me, so be it. I unfollow people sometimes because it’s not what’s needed in my life at that time. I may circle back, I may not. I don’t take an unfollow personally because it has little to do with me and everything to do with them.
I see this a lot in Substack too, and I feel it’s because this is my playground. I try different things and some work some don’t, some feel more right than others and then I do more of that. And people come and go. They might subscribe thinking I got my 💩together but I really don’t. I just play around for now.
Yes!! It happens all the time. Jealousy and fear you might succeed, and envy. Lots of belittling, plenty of scorn. Maybe they pick up on the fragility of our creativity so it’s a bit of a power trip for some. I’ve felt that on occasion, especially around my writing, less so on my other creative activities. Great post!
Incredible insights! These reactions to our creativity can create so much confusion. “Well, this person really cares about me so maybe I’m the one making the wrong decision by pursuing art?” I have felt that for quite a long time. To commit to my art and say, “it’s not about them, it’s about me!” was so liberating. This is part of what makes art inherently rebellious and courageous. & reading your words here, without a doubt, adds some wind under the wings of every artist who glances ♡
Thank you! I started following after meeting you last year at the Writing Room Retreat in Santa Fe. You write the things I need (and don’t always want) to hear. And stir my creative energy.
Well I appreciate you cheering us artists on ~ it's motivating and validating (even though we don't know one another). The world needs artists...at the very least creativity in all its glorious forms and expressions...and because our creativity comes from from a vulnerable place in our tender hearts, we need an appreciatve boost and encouragement. Allllll this and more you've siad in one form or another and I'm concurring. Keep it up, please and thank you Amie :)
This has been a big lesson for me this year. There is no one really in my social circle or family that honestly follows me and I have to be ok with that. It doesn't sit too well, but the alternative is to bash my head against a wall trying only to get the same result. I've found better support from complete strangers. In the end we walk the path of the creative on our own. There will be people to help us en route, but the fact is that a lot of the journey will be taken in solitude. It's a hard truth to swallow, but it's starting to feel more than worth it to me.
Omg Amie. This is my first time reading your work and I needed this so deeply. Thank you for putting words to a hunch I have had internally.
People that I love deeply are giving me big push back for how I speak about sex. How I encourage people to cultivate a pleasure practice. They can't look at this vulnerability without wincing and looking away. It has been sooooo deeply hurtful and has made me into a bit of an Instagram hermit to avoid their gaze.
I don't want to hide anymore. I want to serve. Even if it makes people feel something. Especially because it makes people feel something.
So so true. We feel that vulnerability for each other, maybe after this post I’ll start understanding more where people come from when they don’t ask or care about my art, maybe I’m also triggering them. I think I can be a bit less resentful and more compassionate. Amie you literally always say what I need to hear💗
yeeessss that part about people in our lives side-stepping and being less-than-enthusiastic about our creative endeavors hits home. Friends, family, and people on the internet have done it to me. I know I’ve been guilty of that myself in the past. When we don’t dress our creative wounds, bitterness bleeds all over and infects EVERYTHING.
I meet too many bitter artists. It's not good for us.
so many thoughts on the systems we have in place socially and culturally that really strip our agency in creating a personal sense of identity and worth, and how academia in particular turns subjective experiences and art into an object to scrutinize, criticize, grade and hierarchize - and, unfortunately, so many people with good intentions go into teaching and educational leadership after being beaten down by these systems and end up perpetuating those cycles (whether intentionally or not). I don’t know if this comment even makes sense or if I’m rambling at this point, but I was a teacher for almost a decade after getting my masters and so I speak from my own experience and pain and the cycles I’ve seen play out in my own life and in those around me.
you are not rambling! I completely identify with what you are saying!
Shiiiittttt. You’ve explained something I could not put my finger on around friends and family - my creativity is a trigger🔥
Some are triggered at my bravery, some at my vulnerability, some at my audacity, and some at the very fact I’m even creating at all, which exposes the unfulfilled part of them.
Thank you 💜
This piece healed a big wound. Thank you, truly.
I JUST signed on to Substack and chose my three topics and “BOOM!” There you are in the list so I read this first thing. I identify as an artist. It took me a long time to be comfortable with that and proud of claiming that title. Literally, NO ONE asks about my art. No one. That makes it even harder to feel proud of what I do or, sometimes, confident in what I create. It is incredibly sad. But you’ve hit the nail right on the head here. Thank you.
Needed this today.
Oh god!! This is the inner monologue of a writer!!
I feel so understood.
At the end of the day, no one can stop us from creating art and if they belittle our efforts, that shows their insecurity.
Thankyou for stirring up a very important conversation.
Yes Ritwik!!!
A
I have made so many people uncomfortable with not just what I write & create but my decisions, like leaving my marriage of 20 years, moving from Australia to Finland, leaving my children with their dad, starting a business at 49 with no business experience. I’ve lost friends over all these things, in a way where they disappear rather than have it out with you. I have friends and family who read my writing and others who’ve never read a thing. Most have never bought an anthology I’ve been published in. I’ve accepted that I just make some people hugely uncomfortable because I do things they might think about doing but aren’t brave enough to so they shrink away. If people unfollow me, so be it. I unfollow people sometimes because it’s not what’s needed in my life at that time. I may circle back, I may not. I don’t take an unfollow personally because it has little to do with me and everything to do with them.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Amie 🥰
Same!!
We need to chat!
Hi Lisa, yes let’s connect 😊
I see this a lot in Substack too, and I feel it’s because this is my playground. I try different things and some work some don’t, some feel more right than others and then I do more of that. And people come and go. They might subscribe thinking I got my 💩together but I really don’t. I just play around for now.
Yes!! It happens all the time. Jealousy and fear you might succeed, and envy. Lots of belittling, plenty of scorn. Maybe they pick up on the fragility of our creativity so it’s a bit of a power trip for some. I’ve felt that on occasion, especially around my writing, less so on my other creative activities. Great post!
Between this one and your previous one, you’ve really reminded me of the importance of cheering on your creative friends too.
Incredible insights! These reactions to our creativity can create so much confusion. “Well, this person really cares about me so maybe I’m the one making the wrong decision by pursuing art?” I have felt that for quite a long time. To commit to my art and say, “it’s not about them, it’s about me!” was so liberating. This is part of what makes art inherently rebellious and courageous. & reading your words here, without a doubt, adds some wind under the wings of every artist who glances ♡
Thank you! I started following after meeting you last year at the Writing Room Retreat in Santa Fe. You write the things I need (and don’t always want) to hear. And stir my creative energy.
I am so glad we have connected.
Well I appreciate you cheering us artists on ~ it's motivating and validating (even though we don't know one another). The world needs artists...at the very least creativity in all its glorious forms and expressions...and because our creativity comes from from a vulnerable place in our tender hearts, we need an appreciatve boost and encouragement. Allllll this and more you've siad in one form or another and I'm concurring. Keep it up, please and thank you Amie :)
This has been a big lesson for me this year. There is no one really in my social circle or family that honestly follows me and I have to be ok with that. It doesn't sit too well, but the alternative is to bash my head against a wall trying only to get the same result. I've found better support from complete strangers. In the end we walk the path of the creative on our own. There will be people to help us en route, but the fact is that a lot of the journey will be taken in solitude. It's a hard truth to swallow, but it's starting to feel more than worth it to me.
Exactly!!!
Omg Amie. This is my first time reading your work and I needed this so deeply. Thank you for putting words to a hunch I have had internally.
People that I love deeply are giving me big push back for how I speak about sex. How I encourage people to cultivate a pleasure practice. They can't look at this vulnerability without wincing and looking away. It has been sooooo deeply hurtful and has made me into a bit of an Instagram hermit to avoid their gaze.
I don't want to hide anymore. I want to serve. Even if it makes people feel something. Especially because it makes people feel something.
So so true. We feel that vulnerability for each other, maybe after this post I’ll start understanding more where people come from when they don’t ask or care about my art, maybe I’m also triggering them. I think I can be a bit less resentful and more compassionate. Amie you literally always say what I need to hear💗